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November 17, 2018.

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Coat

An old lady was considering buying a squirrel fur coat.

"But will it be all right in the rain?" she asked anxiously.

"Oh certainly, maam," said the manager smoothly. "After all, youve never seen a squirrel with an umbrella have you?"

<December 10, 2011>

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Alligator

A tourist was being led through the swamps of Florida. "Is it true," he asked, "that an alligator wont attack you if you carry a flashlight?""That depends," replied the guide, "on how fast you carry the flashlight."

<December 2, 2011>

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Tracks

"Look, guide, here are some LION tracks."

"Good. You see where they go and Ill find out where they came from."

<November 29, 2011>

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Miracle

The religious cowboy lost his favourite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later a cow walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the cow's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!" "Not really" said the cow "Your name is written inside the cover".

Sent by:Sanyi <November 10, 2011>

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Lost dog

The front door was accidentally left open and our dog was gone. After unsuccessfully whistling and calling, my husband got in the car and went looking for him. He drove around the neigbourhood for some time with no luck. Finally he stopped beside a couple out for a walk and asked if they had seen our dog.
"You mean the one following your car?" they asked.

<November 10, 2011>

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Dog watch

Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?"

Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from."

Sent by:Hilda <November 4, 2011>

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Talking frog

A warrant officer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and said,
"If you kiss me, Ill turn into a beautiful princess".

He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said,
"If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."

The warrant officer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to his pocket. The frog then cried out,
"If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, Ill stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."

Again the warrant officer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked,
"What is the matter? Ive told you Im a beautiful princess, that Ill stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why wont you kiss me?"

The warrant officer said,
"Look Im an warrant officer. I dont have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now thats cool."

Sent by:Sanyi <October 12, 2011>

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Crossing

Q: What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?
A: Big holes all over Australia!

<September 6, 2011>

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Next page

Total: 118 (12 pages)

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