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Tommy Cooper quotes

• 'Waiter, waiter, do you have frogs legs?'
  
  'Certainly, Sir!'
  
  'Well hop over here and get me a sandwich!'
  - Tommy Cooper
  
• It's strange isn't it?
  You stand in the middle of the library and go "Aaaaaaaaargh!!" and everyone stares at you. But do it on a plane and everyone joins in.
  - Tommy Cooper
  
• I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure.
  - Tommy Cooper
  
• Now, most dentist's chairs go up and down, don't they? The one I was in went back and forwards. I thought 'This is unusual'. And the dentist said to me 'Mr Cooper, get out of the filing cabinet.
  - Tommy Cooper
  
• I had a dream last night that I ate a giant marshmellow.
  When I woke up this morning, my pillow was gone.
  - Tommy Cooper