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November 17, 2018.

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Funny things

What's wrong with me

A man walks into a doctor's office with a stick of celery in one ear, a carrot in the other and two grapes up his nose.

Confused, the man asks: "Doctor what's wrong with me?"

The doctor looks at the man and replies: "You're not eating properly!"

Sent by:AZ <October 27, 2011>

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Difference

There is only one difference between a long life and a good dinner: that, in the dinner, the sweets come last.

- Robert Louis Stevenson

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Art of living

The art of living is more like wrestling than dancing.

- Marcus Aurelius

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Tennis

The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.

- Mitch Hedberg

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Dress

A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to take it off of you.

- Francoise Sagan

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Pants

Customer: You said these pants were pure wool, but the label says "all cotton."

Salesman: Oh, thats just to keep the moths away.

<October 23, 2011>

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Coffee

A single coffee tree yields only one pound of roasted, ground coffee annually.

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Bacteria

Bacteria, the tiniest free-living cells, are so small that a single drop of liquid contains as many as 50 million of them.

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Silicon Valley

The first "technology" corporation to move into California's Silicon Valley was Hewlett-Packard, in 1938. Stanford University engineers Bill Hewlett and Dave Packard started their company in a Palo Alto garage, with $1,538. Their first product was an audio oscillator bought by Walt Disney Studios for use in making Fantasia.

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Poor dog

A dog was killed by a meteor at Nakhla, Egypt, in 1911. The unlucky canine is the only creature known to have been killed by a meteor.

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